The Breast Brigade

The Breast Brigade
Mothers who breastfeed are more likely to stave off breast cancer! Breastfed babies have higher IQs! No eczema! No allergies! No wind!!

Have you met the Breast Brigade? If you haven't had the pleasure already here is a small snippet into their colourful, albeit slightly restricted banter.

As if expectant mothers don't have quite enough to  worry about, at some point in the latter stages of pregnancy some midwife, NCT teacher or nurse may drop the B Word. Of course we have all thought about it. Breastfeeding is the final part of pregnancy, the happy ending to a beautiful birth. We have watched as during the last 9 months of pregnancy, alongside our swelling bellies our lovely bunch of coconuts became watermelons. We have even seen little squirts of colostrum appear out of our newly darkened nipples. So we know these bad boys have a use, and now the Breastfeeding cheer team are telling us that without breast milk our babies will most likely develop asthma!

The phenomenon of baby making escapes few. For 9 whole months our little ones grow inside us, living off the nutrients our bodies provide them. They develop on a weekly basis until one day they are ready to meet us.

During our pregnancies childbirth is our main fixation, or at least a large one. We stress and plot to find the best scenario for us with information from professionals feeding our eager trains of thought. On the one side weighing in with government sponsorship yet still underfunded, is the midwifery community on Team Natural Birth. On the other side sit The Consultants, a far more scientific party looking at labour in a clinical light.

Team Natural Birth (TNB) will inform us that all low risk mamas go straight to the birth centre. They will tell you that home births can be wonderful and that water is the way.

The Consultants  (TC) arm expectant mothers with facts. Shower us with sonograms, talk about scary stuff such as babies being too big to push out.

Both are well meaning in their fighting corners and ultimately neither really have much sway on what actually happens from the moment the baby decides they are ready to begin the journey out of that amazingly comfortable womb into the big wide world.  Personally, if I were bobbing along in a pool of 37 degree comfortable water, being fed on demand without having to even tell anyone your hungry AND doing all that whilst not having to have your nappy changed.... I don't think I would be in a hurry to leave. That being said we all do it and for our poor mothers it is quite the ordeal.

So once your little one decides it's time to flee their first nest it doesn't really matter who won the pre match.  What happens in labour stays in labour. If an earth mother who has done nothing but plan for active birth with TNB suddenly starts screaming for the drugs.... Well you get that anaesthetist in the room and pronto. Similarly if Miss I want the Drugs starts her labour in a bath and decides gas and air are far too much fun, you will let that woman get her kicks from the laughing gas.

It is all very well  changing plans for  labour but what happens when your little bundle of lanugo is out?
Please enter from stage right, The Breast Brigade.

From the moment the lovely little poppet joins the party the stress is on!

We are encouraged to hold our newborn close to our chest for "skin to skin" time, keeps your baby warm and helps to regulate their breathing. By the way, very new mum, this is a great time to put your new bundle of joy to your breast. Just pop him/her there and let them try to latch on.

Hang on... Where did everyone go? Suddenly whilst trying desperately to feed your little squirmy baby; take time to be with your new family and recover from whatever horrors you experienced during childbirth... The blooming TNB midwife has rushed out the room!!!

Without so much as a "perhaps you may want to put a nappy on her" TNB swiftly disappear. And then what?

It's fight or flight for the first time mum. All your instincts tell you to preserve with the breast, but how? Your baby conveniently forgot to read the breastfeeding manual during her train ride out of womb central. She didn't get the "how to latch" memo. Suddenly you are feeling like the worst mother in the world for not being able to do the one thing all of TNB have told you to do.

Oh dear, looks like half of Britain are set to be asthma sufferers with terribly low IQs.

So here I am, 3 weeks on and still waiting for the wonder of breastfeeding to kick in. Sure, there are moments I feel like the luckiest woman alive, being able to feed my daughter from my breast, but that typically is preceded by "oh god how can she be hungry again?" Followed by a painful intake of breath as I watch her latch on to my already tired and sorry for itself nipple.

Breastfeeding, whatever the gurus may tell you, is hard work. For women with all size and shape breasts it's tough going. Those of us with a, erm, larger bust, tend to suffer a little more but it's all the same in the end.

Babies weren't born with intensive latching training and mummies can never prepare for the onslaught of emotions coupled with feeding challenges.

If you, like me, feel like the worst mother in the world because your little one just doesn't seem to get it... Don't worry you are not alone.
I'm sticking with it for now but I doubt it will be for long.

Yes babies who are breastfed tend to get all the wonderful benefits from the milky miracle but guess what? Babies on formula sleep longer!!!!