I should come clean at this point. At 38 weeks pregnant, with back pain causing me sleepless nights; stretch marks weaving their way around my swollen belly and boobs the size of a small country, the last thing I gave much thought to was tied tongues. There. I admit it. My head was firmly planted up my own rather large bottom. Shortly after finishing the discussion and moving onto how many disposable pairs of pants I had, I completely forgot the conversation.
Luckily my dear hubster, unaffected by varicose veins in places no one should have them, kept the conversation in mind. As we held our beautiful baby girl in our arms he asked our midwife to check for the illicit tied tongue. We were assured she had seen our little girl's tongue and it was not tied. I still didn't even ask what it was.
You may have read in previous posts that breast feeding and I did not take to each other very quickly. Armed with more than an ample bosom to start with, child bearing did nothing to help the situation. My baby couldn't quite fit her tiny mouth anywhere near my huge boob and I winced in pain anytime she came close to feeding.
It didn't help that our princess was sent back to hospital with jaundice at 2 days old. Feeding became harder and I ended up doing a bizarre mix of breast feeding, expressing and topping up with formula every 2 hours.
Feeding was not getting any easier. I put it down to the size of my huge bazookas. I watched in awe as other babies latched on perfectly to their mommies requiring only a small amount of guidance and no hand holding once they were on. That was not the deal I had struck!
As I spent many a night in her dimly lit nursery feeding, I did what any parent would do. I consulted Google. Typing my symptoms into the trusty search engine I was welcomed by mothers who had the same problems as me with a simple solution... Tongue tie. The words seemed to jump out at me and pull and my already sore nipples. I learned that tongue tied babies have a tight piece of skin between the bottom of their tongue and the floor of their mouth. According to the NHS it affects only 3-10% and of babies, mostly boys. In my NCT class, 3 out of 9 babies were tongue tied, 2 of which were girls.
I read articles from mothers who like me had babies who had difficulty latching on, slipped off the breast whilst feeding, were rather gassy and fell asleep whilst feeding. These mothers also had painful nipples and also felt so frustrated.
There was one problem though. My daughter didn't have a tongue tie.
I asked my midwife for another check for tongue tie. She looked in my baby's mouth and declared that she had a little mouth and little tongue, other than that was fine. She even sent a breast feeding adviser round to help with the latch.
Disappointed that it was just something I was doing wrong I took a deep breath and painfully placed my hungry lady back on the nipple.
The breast feeding advisor advised that my latch looked good, but the problems were probably due to my very large boobs. She mentioned that perhaps a nipple shield might help.
At the end of week three I saw blood in my baby's mouth during a feed. Panicking and crying in pain the breast feeding helpline was called (what a waste of time that was!) the Lansinoh was applied in full force and those nipple shields came out.
If anyone has ever successfully used nipple shields please let me know how. After 10 minutes of trying my best I stopped fumbling and gave up.
I just had to get to 6 weeks. That's what everyone said. Just to be safe, I asked the doctor one final time about this tongue tie business. For the third time I was told there was no problem. I just had to make it to 6 weeks.
I got to 6 weeks and called a lactation consultant.
Within two minutes of arriving and listening to my tales of woe she stuck her (clean) finger in my little lady's mouth and said those 5 magical words: she has a tongue tie.
Hurrah! I almost wept with happiness, I was not going crazy! There was a problem after all and no amount of small petite boobies would fix it!
The lovely lactation consultant helped me to reposition the little one to help her latch better.
Then she informed me of my options. The NHS could refer me to the Royal Free hospital for the tongue tie clinic. There is a specialist at the Portland Hospital for a private consultation, or there are lactation consultants who could come to my house and snip the tongue tie there and then.
At this stage of euphoria knowing that my little one wasn't repelled by my breast, I didn't mind too much what happened next. I felt that given she was an otherwise healthy and happy baby perhaps there was no need to get the tongue snipped. After all it may not cause any other issues other than breast feeding.
I consulted the hubster who went on a tirade against the midwives and doctor who had missed the little tie. Unhappy with our luck so far he put his foot down and requested that we take her to the hospital for a consultation.
As the weeks passed waiting for our appointment something magical happened. Feeding became easier. Cluster feeding disappeared and my baby seemed happier at the breast. We learned to make it work for us.
Just to be safe I kept that appointment.
On 4th October I announced to the hubster that I had been wrong. I should never have waited to snip that poor little tongue. After weeks of happy breasted mornings I had woken with one massive boob. I had been uncomfortable when she was feeding the previous day and had attributed it to her growth spurt. I assumed she was feeding more effectively and my nips were bearing the brunt of it. I had a burning sensation in the bigger boob and upon inspection I spotted something white on the nipple.
Like any typically neurotic mother my mind instantly jumped to conclusions. Her growth spurt had triggered a hungrier baby which in turn frustrated her as her tongue prevented her from getting enough food. This must have caused a bad latch and hey presto! I definitely had thrush. On a Saturday. With no doctors surgery open.
Panicking I called a tongue tie divider. A card carrying member of the breast brigade she told me I wasn't feeding my daughter enough and the thrush was due to the bottle of expressed milk she had before bed. I'm sure that woman helps plenty of people, but I am not one of them.
Luckily my lactation consultant was happy to help. Instantly she diagnosed me with a blocked duct and coached me on how to fix the painful problem. I won't bore you with horrible details but suffices to say that a wet flannel, hot shower and a breast pump later... I was fixed.
She also offered wise words on the tongue tie. Desperate as I was to help my daughter to feed, she seemed to be doing quite well. So instead of rushing to pay £160 for someone to cut the tongue, why not wait for my appointment and see what they say? Reassured that my daughter didn't have thrush and was feeding enough, I decided to take her advice.
The midwives at the hospital poked around in my baby's mouth and came put with an unclear answer. Visually the tongue tie wasn't too bad, but functionality was poor. She appeared to be feeding well but had been compensating. She could very well be fine but she could struggle with weaning. There was no clear answer. At 14 weeks the procedure would be more traumatic than it would have been for an 8 week old, but if I waited any longer she would need anaesthetic.
We hummed and hawed over it but ultimately decided to go ahead.
Horrible as it was to watch I think we made the right choice. My little love was very distraught, far more so than with her jabs. But I'm still glad we did it.
Tongue tie can go unnoticed by midwives and doctors, this really was a case of mommy knows best. I knew there was something wrong with her feeding and just kept trying to figure it out. Why midwives don't check their mouths in hospital is beyond me, my advice for any new parent is to make sure they do. It's not a huge problem and can be solved very quickly, but my goodness it can hurt your poor nipples!
The little lady is much better now, she has even stuck her tongue out at me!
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